The Hook.4/22/2020 Write the hook, Jules. That’s the thought that’s going through my head right now. Except there’s just one problem… I can’t. It’s been 30 days since Michigan’s governor enacted a Stay at Home Order, basically putting us all on lockdown, except for essential errands (i.e. groceries, medical attention, etc.). Since that time, I’ve found myself in a bit of a creative slump. Having been on temporary furlough, in lockdown, and home-schooling with my three teens, not only have my priorities shifted, but my brain seems to have lost its creative mojo. I just haven’t had the desire to write or draw, although, ironically, I have LOTS of time to do it now. Has some deep-seeded primal survival instinct kicked in? This last month, my main areas of focus have been worrying about paying the bills, the health of their dad (who is a nurse at a hospital of one of the hot spot centers of this virus), keeping my kids on some sort of schedule, keeping food on the table, (and how to do so without actually having to set foot in a store), and avoiding people and interaction. That last part, for me, is quite the opposite of how I’ve lived and thrived for most of my adult life. I have noticed, however, that I’ve zeroed in on staying in touch and building stronger bonds with some important people in my life. When this virus was just at the early stages here, the kids’ dad and I made the decision that they’d stay with me indefinitely until this pandemic clears up. My kids haven’t been to their dad’s house in two months, and he’s been on the front lines of this horribleness since the beginning. I have found myself thinking a lot and trying not to worry about things out of my control. My thought process has definitely shifted and instead of thinking about the future, I only think about the current week, because if I think too far ahead, it’s frankly upsetting and overwhelming. Will my children’s father become ill with this virus? Will my daughter, who is a senior, ever get to attend a prom, or put on a cap and gown and have a commencement ceremony? What about her graduation party? Will the kids go back to school in the fall? When will I return to work? When will I feel comfortable shopping at Target or going to my gym? It’s all too much and the answers are unknown, so I’ve decided to try not to think too hard about it. Lockdown life is a much simpler, slower pace in many ways. I’ve cooked more and tried new recipes. I’ve cleaned and purged my house. I've probably walked down nearly every street in my neighborhood. Two of my three kids had birthdays this past month. My son was devastated when I told him I wouldn't be getting him his traditional "birthday donuts" that he always had. So, I improvised. The kid was missing out on so much already, I had to give him this. So, I made donuts. For the first time EVER. My middle daughter turned 18. She became an "adult." (Yikes! That happened fast.) One of her best friends and family came by and put signs in our yard and left her treats. But, there was no big family party like usual. Things are different. Although my kids have always had chores, they really have been doing more. Almost every day at some point in the afternoon, I do a workout video in my living room, and therefore, the tv is mine and if the kids are around, they must vacate the tiny space. My house is small, with an open concept main floor, so it requires me to do a little rearranging. Move the ottoman. Move the rug. Etc. The other day I told my kids I’d be doing it at noon and I went to my room to change. When I returned, I was surprised to see my son had set up the room for me, hooked up my laptop to the tv, and even filled my water bottle and placed it on the table where I keep it during my workouts. Yes, tensions sometimes rise with the four of us in such close quarters for so long, but thoughtfulness has also risen. We are more aware of each other’s constant presence and needs, whether it’s their turn in the shower, what they're eating, or even time together binge-watching shows. My kids do their own laundry, and have done the dishes without me asking... I think we’re making the best of our situation and are grateful we are all healthy. I’ve had group chats, zoom happy hours, and facetime “Outlander” calls with some great friends and neighbors. I’ve had phone calls with friends who I never really called before. It’s been an enlightening month. But, these last few days, something has nagged at me. This tug that’s been silently berating me to flip the switch and kick myself in the arse to put some words down or sketch some lines. So… here I sit trying to write the hook. And these are the words that came out. Therapeutic? Yes. Relatable for some? Perhaps. But my main take-away is this: I’ve decided that I will continue to foster the relationships I deem important, and I will actively, intentionally, try to increase my creative output by doing something artistic every day. Whether it’s writing, drawing or music, I am committed to exercise that part of my brain again. There is no time like the present to do something new, create something, or build a stronger relationship with someone you love. What this lockdown has really done for me is solidified who and what I love. Do the things that make you feel good. Stay in touch with and reach out to the people who matter to you. Realize that the somebody who doesn’t want to make a connection to be close to you during this time of isolation has already disqualified themselves as being a part of your life. And, there it is. I just wrote the hook. It came at the end instead of the beginning, but sometimes things don't happen in the order we want them to. Stay tuned for an update on my progress and let’s see if we can all learn a little something new, hmmm? Check out the photo gallery below to see what our lockdown month has looked like, including isolated birthdays, good food, couch time, 6-feet-apart visits, and sanitizing... and please like and/or comment on this post! Let's come together! (At a safe, 6-foot distance...)
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Leave a Reply.AuthorJulie Cassar, Best Selling Archives
September 2023
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