2022, Where Are You?1/1/2023 As 2022 came to a close, I took some time to reflect on the last year. One thing I’ve embraced over the last 12 months is practicing gratitude and meditation daily (or almost daily). I almost can't believe the number of positive changes in my life. It's truly amazing! I’ve always been an optimistic person, but when you really begin to focus on what IS as opposed to what ISN’T, what you HAVE versus what you HAVEN’T, and what’s RIGHT instead of what’s WRONG, your life will change. I promise. It takes some practice, for sure, and I can certainly attest to the fact that focusing on the positive isn’t always easy. But whatever situation you’re in, you can choose to see the good or the bad. They’re both often present to some degree. And what you focus your energy on, is what will come back to you. This is important because this affects how you feel. Wouldn’t you rather feel good, than feel bad?
This weekend, I went through each month of photos on my phone to reflect and feel grateful for all the wonderful things that have happened, the amazing people in my life, and the goals I achieved. Every single month had great memories. So, instead of focusing on things that went wrong this past year, or where I failed, I contemplated all the things that went right. I even made a highlight reel for 2022. My phone only let me pick 60 photos and that was tough! I had over 300 favorites JUST from 2022. So I narrowed it to the bare minimum to capture the essence of all of the fantastic memories I have from this past year. Then, I wrote down a list of great moments in each month. I was overwhelmed with how many there actually were. I won’t bore you all with the details, but here’s my year ( and what gratitude can do) in a nutshell: I enjoyed great food and great company over various brunches and dinners with friends in igloos, at wineries, on patios, and in speakeasys and swanky joints. I went to several wineries throughout the year both local and up north. I spent time in and on the water – from Great Lakes to small lakes, to pools and hot tubs. I celebrated many friends (including myself) turning 50. I went dancing and ax throwing, and enjoyed lots of local bands, and a last-minute invite to the Lizzo concert. I went out of my comfort zone to apply and interview for different jobs and was blown away when I was offered a position at a global company with a 41% salary increase! (Yeah, I’m still pinching myself…) I enjoyed boating, kayaking, and bonfires with friends and family. I hosted and attended parties all year – including my son’s graduation from high school! I experienced beautiful fall colors up north with old friends. And, I took my FIRST-ever trip to Las Vegas! Those 5 days were jam-packed with so much goodness I can’t even begin to tell you … plus, you know what they say about what happens in Vegas…hehe... The thing is – there were a lot of challenges, too. The year certainly wasn’t all roses. I started a new job in a completely different industry that was challenging, stressful at times, and scary. I also missed my old work tribe terribly. My baby boy went off to college and this empty-nester mom has really felt his absence at times. Of course, there were other things that weren’t so great. But my point is, I think all the good far outweighed the bad. I am so very grateful for the year I had and am so very hopeful for the year ahead. When you begin to practice gratitude daily, your life will change. But the choice is yours. You can mope, whine, or be upset about all of the ‘bad things’ in your life, or you can look at all the good moments instead. I choose the latter. The second part of this is that you also have to start speaking to yourself differently. You need to begin to use positive phrases, instead of negative ones. For example: People at your workplace or close to you have been getting sick and you have a big trip planned. Instead of saying “I hope I don’t get sick…. I hope I don’t get sick….” (See, you’re putting out negative energy, negative thoughts, worry, etc.) Instead, try saying: “I’m going to stay healthy for my trip.” It’s the smallest shift, but it packs a big punch. All the energy you put into the universe is impactful. And, all the little moments eventually add up to big ones. My wish for all of you is simple. Say more "I love yous" to those you cherish. Be kind to others and to yourself. Embrace all of the wonderful moments of the past year, even the smallest ones, and be grateful for them. And, may that joy, no matter how small, grow exponentially for each of you throughout the new year. As my dad used to say, “Be good. Behave. Love you.” Happy New Year!
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A lesson on "Is There More?"10/14/2021 I’ve also always been an observer. As a quiet, shy child (It’s true, I know it’s hard to believe) I watched people and circumstances all the time. I took in my surroundings, never brave enough to act on things I wanted to say or do, except in my mind. I loved to draw, and I would look at the world around me and try to transcribe it onto paper.
As I became more comfortable in my own skin, had more life experiences, and, well, just grew up, I became more vocal and outgoing. But, still I paid attention and observed. I honed my drawing skills and my writing skills. I found a joy in storytelling that I never knew existed before. What I observed about people and the world around me has educated me, made me more compassionate, and, dare I say… wise. As an adult, I’ve always been an upbeat, positive, personable person. An optimist at heart, I strive to find the good in most situations, and more often than not, choose happiness over sorrow or complaints. But, something began to gnaw at me from inside. Is there more? Since the pandemic, I’ve noticed an upswing in negativity all around me. In the media, on social media, argumentative commentary, depression, anxiety...it seemed like so many more people have become angry, bitter, sad, lonely, or just plain depressed. It’s been painful to see, and yes, I, too, have struggled with some bad days. However, that thing that began to gnaw at me, grew stronger. I have come to believe that what goes around, comes around. Call it karma, kismet, the circle of life, or whatever else fits. I also truly believe that it is our mission to learn and grow as much as we can during our lifetime. To be better today than we were yesterday. Could I be doing more to achieve this? Become more? Be happier? More successful? More grateful and joyful? Something I had heard about a long time ago was the Law of Attraction. I never knew much about it, other than that it basically means: that you will attract into your life whatever you focus on. Whatever you give your energy and attention to will come back to you. I started to dig a little deeper into this concept. Part of this law is the use of visualization. Now, to put it into terms we can understand, visualization has been a part of elite sports for a very long time. Al Oerter, a four-time Olympic discus champion, and the tennis star Billie Jean King were among those using it in the 1960s -- over 40 years ago! There are countless scientific studies analyzing this concept. In my younger “dance class” days, I often used this technique, although I didn’t realize it at the time. I just knew if I could “see” myself doing a quadruple pirouette, I could do it. And, I achieved this goal in a short time, with little physical practice. I went through the motions over and over in my head countless times and soon after, I managed the feat. With elite sports, studies have shown time and time again that mental training matters. Russian scientists conducted a study comparing the training schedules of four groups of Olympic athletes. Each group used a different combination of physical and mental training:
To further describe the law of attraction, generally, it means that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person's life. I had no idea if this was true, but my gut told me there was some truth to this. I was interested to try it out. Along the way, I learned some things. And, some of these thoughts and ideas have been around for CENTURIES. Not months. Not Decades. A really reallllllllly long time. One thing I’ve learned in my life? Theories don't stick around for long if there’s no validity to them. Take a gander at this … Once upon a time, there was a man named Phineas Quimby. (Okay, as an author, I just LOVE that name...how perfect is it??) Early in his life, Phineas was diagnosed with tuberculosis and early 19th century medicine had no cure. “Quimby took to horse riding and noted that intense excitement temporarily relieved him from his affliction.” This method for relieving his pain and his seeming recovery prompted Phineas to pursue a study of "Mind over Body".[Although he never used the words "Law of Attraction", he explained this in a statement that captured the concept in the field of health: “the trouble is in the mind, for the body is only the house for the mind to dwell in, and we put a value on it according to its worth. Therefore if your mind has been deceived by some invisible enemy into a belief, you have put it into the form of a disease, with or without your knowledge. By my theory or truth, I come in contact with your enemy and restore you to your health and happiness. This I do partly mentally and partly by talking till I correct the wrong impressions and establish the Truth, and the Truth is the cure.” In 1897 (124 YEARS AGO), Ralph Trine wrote, “The law of attraction works universally on every plane of action, and we attract whatever we desire or expect. If we desire one thing and expect another, we become like houses divided against themselves, which are quickly brought to desolation. Determine resolutely to expect only what you desire, then you will attract only what you wish for.” Let’s go back even farther. A lot farther. Thousands of years ago, there are verses from the Bible in the context of the Law of Attraction. An example is Mark 11:24: "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” The law of attraction is the attractive, magnetic energy of the Universe that manifests through everyone and everything. After all, every single living thing is made up of energy. It is part of the creative power of the Universe. It draws to you people who think like you, and situations and circumstances that you repeatedly think about. So I put it to the test. And in the first five days of doing some of these techniques, here’s what I experienced: I experienced more smiles from others and received more compliments. I unexpectedly got a refund direct-deposited from the IRS and was able to pay off my upcoming vacation. A co-worker brought me flowers. My favorite person texted me all day long. My huge work event that I had been planning for weeks went off with great success. I genuinely felt happier throughout the day, like mini-moments of joy sprinkled throughout hectic days. I got two emails from two different managers complimenting my work and a job well done. I had more warm, friendly conversations with people. My books climbed in their rankings on Amazon. Neighbors visited and brought treats to share. My drives into work seemed to have less traffic and stops along the way. (There are 21 traffic lights on my commute to work.) Mind you, these occurrences were all in a matter of days. Five days to be precise. There is a counterpoint I need to make as well. The law of attraction also suggests that Like attracts like. It means that people tend to attract people who are similar to them—but it also suggests that people's thoughts tend to attract similar results. Negative thinking is believed to attract negative experiences, while positive thinking is believed to result in desirable experiences. If you follow me on social media, you probably have already realized that I rarely post anything negative or complain. That’s partly because it’s just my nature, but also because I try to put positive energy out. Everyone could use a dose of happy in their life. I'd rather add to those I care about, not subtract or take away any ounce of their joy. The world is full of enough of the Debbie Downers and Dementors (those creepy things from the Harry Potter series that simply suck the happiness and life out of you.) Does the law of attraction work? In my opinion, yes. Is it perfect? No. Has it made a positive impact on me and those around me? I would say absolutely yes. Is it for you? I can’t say. But I can say this: I see you. People see you. You are Heard and Acknowledged. And if you are suffering, I wish you peace. I will always send you sunshine, and I hope you choose to receive it and that it may bring you a smile. In times such as these, I would hope we can start building each other up, instead of tearing each other down. Kindness and compassion matters, and even the smallest gestures can have the biggest impact on others. Stop putting yourself down or thinking you don’t make a difference or affect others. You do. I promise you, you do. I feel like I should end this blog with “Namaste” or something, but I’m really not that zen, Lol. Instead, I’ll say: Rock on, you amazing person! Choose happiness, and appreciate, love .and focus on all the good things that are in your life, no matter how small. *If you enjoyed this blog, please give it a "like" and/or a share on social media. Thank you so much for reading! AuthorJulie Cassar, Best Selling Archives
September 2023
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