Your Words Matter.3/12/2022 Some of you may know that I’m a pretty laid-back chick. I grew up in a large household with lots of people and we all had responsibilities. Commitments were kept, backtalk was unacceptable, rules were followed or there were prices to pay. But, it also taught me how to live with and get along with a lot of different personalities. It taught me how to resolve problems and to forgive those you love. It taught me not to sweat the small stuff, and to always give my best effort. The older I’ve gotten, the more accepting I’ve become. However, there are a few things in life I’m very particular about. One of these such things is language. I’m sure you’re thinking, well Duh, Jules! You ARE a writer. Of course, you’re particular about language. And sure, that’s part of it. But it’s more than that. Let me explain…
I was raised to speak politely to others, especially adults. That meant using proper English words, not slang, and always addressing adults as “Miss” “Mrs.” or “Mr.” in front of their surname. It also meant using “Please,” “Thank you,” “No, thank you,” and “You’re welcome,” and it also meant no swearing or calling people derogatory names, even in jest. When I was a kid, did I call my brothers and sisters names? Sure. Did I spew names at the kids I ran around the neighborhood with? Sometimes. Did I ever call a classmate a name? Never to their face. Partly because of what was enforced in my home, and partly because I was too afraid I’d get in trouble! Haha. As I grew up, this became even more important to me, as I think name-calling is a ridiculously low form of insult and it’s extremely disrespectful. When I had children of my own, I realized just how important the language you use, and how you address people really is. Children are mirrors. They are copycats who will do as you do, say what you say, and will speak to you the way you speak to them. You want to have polite kids with good manners? Treat them as such. Don’t call them names. Use please, thank you and you’re welcome when addressing them, and require the same of them. Being consistent with them is key. Reminding them to use manners often isn’t a bad thing. Unfortunately, I’ve witnessed far too much rudeness, entitlement, or just plain sass, from not only teens but from adults. I’ve seen bosses speak rudely to their assistants, and then wonder why morale is low or work product is not as clean as it should be. I’ve seen kids and teens speak awful to their parents, demand things, or not take rules or direction seriously. It’s never too late to start using courtesy, and nicer language with the people around you. So many people are fed up with this world and all the negativity, not to mention politics, the pandemic, Covid, lack of employees, and prices of everything from groceries to gas skyrocketing. Maybe instead of fueling the negativity with more negativity, maybe, just maybe we could try to make the world better by starting in our own little corner. Is it going to solve all the problems? No. But will it maybe make your day, or your life, or the people in your life just a bit more pleasant? Absolutely. I guarantee you, it will absolutely bring more peace to your life. Language has the power to take someone out at the knees, and it has the power to bring a smile or pure joy to someone’s day. How many times have you been aggravated when someone doesn’t reply to a text, or is unapologetic about something they did or said, or takes for granted something you’ve done or given to them? Now think about a situation that could’ve been better, had they been more courteous. Here’s a simple example. You go through the house picking up your teen’s dirty laundry, and you wash their clothes, fold them, and put them on their bed. When they arrive home, they say, “God, why the hell did you put all these clothes on my bed!??” I’d be fuming if that was said to me. 1. Where’s the thank you? 2. Did you just swear at me? 3. You ungrateful little@*&S%$*! None of that energy is pleasant. But, what if, instead of that, they said, “Thanks for doing my laundry! I was totally out of socks!” Your mood would be completely different. The next course of your day would be completely different. So many small interactions like this happen throughout our day, and can build upon one another - either positively, or negatively. Stacking good things and good feelings, or stacking negative, bad things. If you had 10 negative or rude interactions a day, imagine how you’d feel by the end of it? (You probably don’t have to imagine it, as I’m quite sure you’ve experienced it. I know I sure have.) So yes, language and courtesy can really change your world and make it a better place. Maybe the key to solving our bigger problems is starting out small and changing how we speak to the ones closest to us. Speak kindly to others. Use your manners and be courteous. Your words matter. Change your world for the better and see how the world you live in changes. Please click the FB like/Twitter if you liked this post , and share!
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AuthorJulie Cassar, Best Selling Archives
September 2023
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